using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
