Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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