How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
