She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
