saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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