so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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