In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Dear god my vagina.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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