But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just threw up on my dentist
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
