Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize