so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
