i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She said her name was "party"
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
