she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
