I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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