My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
