just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
