I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
