Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize