dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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