i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Randomize
