dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I AM VODKA MAN
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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