My liver just broke up with me...
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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