Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
