you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
