If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
