I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
