I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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