At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
His nipple licking is glorious
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