there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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