:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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