I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
