do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
