Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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