well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My dick has a subreddit
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
