Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I want a musical about memes.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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