Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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