Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
