Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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