So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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