We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
