Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
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Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
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He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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