Please, let me fuck your mom
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
