I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
