I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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