people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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