Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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