have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
