Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I could have mohawked her pubes.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize