If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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