why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
They took my balls.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
