He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
