Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
