so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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