I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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