I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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