things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
