I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
