her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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