I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
